Oktoberfest etiquette

The Oktoberfest starts the day after tomorrow! That’s right kids: you’ve only got to sleep two more times and then the madness can begin.

Then again, by Oktoberfest madness, we don’t mean your average British high-street mayhem shortly after closing time on a Friday night: at the Oktoberfest, manners matter. Bavarians like a drink and a knees up, but do not see drunkenness as an excuse for excessive rowdiness or unnecessary rudeness. And since, due to cultural differences, we can end up being rude without meaning too, here’s a quick guide to Oktoberfest etiquette. After all, it’s in your interest not to annoy the staff, because you won’t get very far without them…

1. Don’t stand in the way

Please don’t take this the wrong way: we don’t think you’re stupid, but this really is important: the waiters and waitresses at the Oktoberfest carry out heavy-lifting operations several times an hour involving anything from fifteen litres of beer plus tankards through to entire trays of food so hot that it is still sizzling. They can’t always see straight ahead, and so it is your responsibility to watch where you are standing. Also, remember that they buy the food and drink out of their own pocket and sell it on to guests at a mark-up, meaning that if they drop a mug of beer, it has a direct effect on what they earn.

2. Don’t try to order standing up

This follows on from the first point: please don’t try to “catch” the waitress on her way by if you’re not sat down; firstly, because this could lead to an accident; and secondly, because she won’t be allowed to sell beer to you unless you have a seat anyway. If a waitress swooshes past you with an armful of beer tankards, it’s not that she’s forgotten you, but that another table has already placed an order for those tankards. She’ll be back soon, and after six in the evening or so, you’ll barely see her come back from the bar without fresh glasses of beer because she knows that someone is bound to buy it – like you, for instance!

3. Give good tips

So this year, a litre of beer is set to cost €9.60-€9.70, although last year it only cost €9.40-€9.50, or indeed around €9.00 in 2011. That makes things quite a bit more expensive this year, right? It does – for the staff, too. In 2011, they used to sell the beer for €9.00 and people would give them a ten-euro note without expecting change – i.e., they got tips at over ten percent. Anyone trying to appear generous with a simple “keep the change” this year, though, is going to look pretty stingy, because that means that the tip is roughly three percent. This year, you should be paying €15 for your first tankard and then around €11 or €12 for each one after that. Remember: waitresses and waiters at the Oktoberfest have an incredibly difficult job and, as long as they are halfway good at it, their Olympian efforts deserve a good reward. Anyway, bad tippers are their own worst enemy: the waitresses won’t be queuing up to serve their tables the next round.

4. Stay off the tables

Feel free to dance on the benches: it’s only allowed, but welcomed. You can’t dance on the tables, though. Why? Because they’re covered in glass, porcelain, and metal, of course.

5. Speak German

You don’t need a degree in German or even a level of fluency to master “Eine Maß und eine Brezn, bitte schön”, do you? And here, a little goes a long way.