At the Oktoberfest for the first time? Seven things you should know about the Wiesn.

The Oktoberfest may be the world’s largest beer festival, but it just keeps on growing anyway, attracting ever more people every year. So if you’re one of the newbies, first off: Congratulations! You’re in a for a fantastic time and we’re very jealous because – as everyone knows – the first time is always very special.

On the other hand, there’s a few issues that we wish people had told us about before our first visit, so here are the seven things you should know about the “Wiesn”.

1. “Wiesn” is pronounced “veesn”

Let’s start with the name. No-one in Munich calls it “the Oktoberfest”. Instead, it’s referred to metonymically as “the field”, which comes from the Theresienwiese – Theresa’s meadow – on which it is held. Pronounce that with a big V and a long E: veeeeeeeesn.

2. “A mass of beer, please”

Obviously, you’ll want to know how to order a beer. The beer is served in a litre tankard, known as a “Mass”. Although the word comes from the same root as the English “measure”, while “mass/masses” comes from Latin instead, the comparison is legitimate as one litre really is a hell of a lot of beer. So use that to help you remember the following phrase: “Eine Mass, bitte schön” (ay-ner mass, bitteh shewn).

3. The tip is the best money you’ll ever spend

Think of the tip you give the waiting staff as a guarantee of more beer. You see, there is no bar to get beer from – the staff are your only way to get to the amber-nectar, so it pays to pay them well. And since you pay for each round as it comes, rather than totting up like in a restaurant, your first tip says a lot to the waiting staff about whether to keep coming back (with the beer), or not.

4. Drink sitting down

You can only order a beer sat down, so don’t bother standing around in the beer garden (or, even more annoyingly for everyone, in the tent between the tables) trying to get your hands on one, because it won’t work. If you can’t get a seat, here’s the trick: wait until someone goes to the loo and ask if you can “hot seat” for the purposes of placing an order. When the person comes back, you can take your beer and go and stand out of the way in the beer garden – or on the smokers’ balconies. Easy peasy.

5. Dance standing up

Bavarians are great hosts, so feel free to ask if you can sit down next to them if they’ve got spaces on their benches going spare. Later in the evening, you’ll be expected to stand up on the benches and sway with them as the music gets louder and the party atmosphere sets in. Don’t be afraid: it’s perfectly allowed (in contrast to dancing on tables, which can get you thrown out) – indeed expected, as is bodily contact, i.e. arms round shoulders and waists, to stop people falling back off the bench.

6. Reserved means reserved

If you’re walking around a tent looking for a seat, you’ll notice that a lot of tables are reserved. Don’t bother sitting down and hoping that no-one will turn up because, given how difficult it is to get a reservation (and the fact that they are guaranteed with a down-payment), the people with the reservation will be there, sure as sure can be. Head for the tables around the bandstand or into the beer garden: nothing here is reserved (and don’t let anyone try to tell you it is!).

7. Choose your tent wisely

Some of the tents are so famous and so popular, that you might just as well not bother: Schottenhamel, Hacker, and Augustiner have an absolute minimum of non-reserved tables that are all taken up five minutes after opening at 9am; by midday towards the weekends, these tents are so packed that you can forget it. Try Löwenbräu, Bräurosl, or Winzerer-Fähndl instead: all of them are large and far more relaxed.

So these are the seven things you need to know about the Oktoberfest. Now you’re all set for your first time – and we know it’ll be an absolute blast. ENJOY!